Terrible Two's (don't get me wrong, i do love him)

There's crayon marks on my walls,
and toys up and down the hall,
There's something that used to be a couch,its true
now it's turned into just a cool-aid stain for two.
This morning i found a toy in my shoe,
but then again i guess that's nothing new,
There's a boy who screams"no,no!"
until my anger starts to show,
There's a boy who wants a cookie and whines until he gets,
I do have to say he's getting good at those little fits!
There's "Sponge Bob Squarepants" on my t.v. all day long,
I swear I'm gonna scream if i hear another "Blues Clues" song!
He tells me NO! when i say it's time to sleep,
and there never seems to be a time he don't make a peep!

Everyone says it's a natural thing he's going through,
But i swear i don't know what I'm gonna do!
These terrible two's are going to kill me!
I guess I'll just hope it gets better when he's three!

The Lil' Things!

First of all, I love that I can say that I am a mom.  For so long I never even thought of having babies.  All the baby having was for my friends and not for me.  I think I even just silently accepted what I thought was to be, which, was that I would not have babies.  Well, I was wrong, and for that I am grateful.
Toys. Our house should be called "Toys Underfoot and Everywhere Else".  When I was single and determined that I would remain childless I hated those toys that my friends had for their children.  I couldn't stand seeing all those bright colors that matched absolutely nothing in their home.  These toys were annoying and just gawdy.  Also, those toys were everywhere. I used to think to myself that I would keep all the toys in one little area if I were them.  I would make sure that no toys were ever in the living area or anywhere in the house except the toy room.  I love going over those really dumb thoughts that I had.  I live in a giant jungle gym these days.  The house is overrun with toys, stuffed animals and cars of all shapes and sizes.  The other day I even went to work with a toy in my apron.   Don't ask because I have no idea how it got there.  That's one of the things I love the most about being a mom - finding toys that little hands dropped into my apron or into the fridge when nobody is looking.  I mean how cute can it get!  This would have bothered me back in the day before I changed a thousand diapers, but not now.  I even love all the noises from the toys (most of the time).  So, in other words, I have graciously, if not embraced the toys...not all of them, but most of them!

All in all, I can't imagine my life without my babies.  God has blessed me and opened up my life to a world I would have never known without my children.  I love my life as a mom and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  Lffe is Good!

Missing

I hate the feeling of having something missing.. You just don't feel whole nothing feels normal and you just see yourself with a hole inside of you. That's how I've been feeling for the longest time now, nobody can seem to understand or know how to help me even. I just want support and the love of family and friends.

Time is ticking and yet I'm at a stand still.. Maybe I beat myself up to much for feeling this way, I'm just tired of crying and not being able to have anyone really truly understand why I feel so down. I need to just be "me" again and I can't even do that at the moment. It's not fair, but then again nothing is fair in this world.

Maybe some day soon, who knows really I could wake up one day and feel wonderful or I could feel even worse then I do now. All I know is I feel "lost" in this world and I can't be "whole" again until I figure out what is the "Missing Key" in my life.

It has nothing to do with money, all though I wish I had more of it... nothing to do with kids or the love of my life.. It's about me and my "wondering soul" that seems to be caught in limbo as I stand alone doing the chicken dance of life.

Hopefully soon, I'll find that missing piece and I'll be "whole" once more!

 -Tasha

 Someone who doesn't take herself too

seriously and can be a goofball.   

Because everyone's a nerd inside,

I don't care how cool you are.

In joy or sadness, flowers are our constant friends.

Since we through war awhile must part
Sweetheart, and learn to lose
Daily use
Of all that satisfied our heart:
Lay up those secrets and those powers
Wherewith you pleased and cherished me these two years.

Now we must draw, as plants would,
On tubers stored in a better season,
Our honey and heaven;
Only our love can store such food.
is this to make a god of absence?
Anew-born monster to steal our sustenance?

We cannot quite cast out lack and pain.
Let him remain - what he may devour
We can well spare:
He never can tap this, the true vein.
I have no words to tell you what you were,
But when you are sad, think, Heaven could give no more.
- Anne Ridler -

The fascination of what's difficult
Has dried the sap out of my veins, and rent
Spontaneous joy and natural content
Out of my heart. There's something ails our colt
That must, as if it had not holy blood
Nor on Olympus leaped from cloud to cloud,
Shiver under the lash, strain, sweat and jolt
As though it dragged road-metal. My curse on plays
That have to be set up in fifty ways,
On the day's war with every knave and dolt,
Theaatre business, management of men.
I swear before the dawn comes round again
I'll find the stable and pull out the bolt.